Who remembers the little boy from the USSR?

Who remembers the little boy from the USSR?

As soon as this phrase was uttered, two dozen verses immediately jumped out of our memory, each with a complete plot. And all the plots were from the "black humor" series, but we really liked these stories with the Little Boy.

It seems that we were mercilessly brought up from all sides to exemplary behavior and correct thinking, but we persistently told each other the new verse we heard about the Little Boy and laughed merrily. Many verses have been forgotten over the years, but those that I remember are very eloquent:

A little boy walked on a construction site,
Accidentally fell into a barrel of gasoline.
Only he, the poor thing, stuck out his nose -
The kind uncle brought up a match.

A little boy was walking at a construction site,
A mad crane was raising a slab there
A plate of three hundred tons fell from above
And it turned out "Breakfast of a tourist"

A little boy was walking on a construction site.
He pressed different buttons.
Well-oiled press worked well,
A lukewarm pancake fell under the awning.

A little boy walked on a construction site,
A dump truck drove up behind him.
At the construction site, you can not hear a cry or a groan,
Only the sandals are sticking out of the concrete!

A little boy found a kimono
He took a couple of tricks from the cinema.
With a cue cry!!! and with a kick
Daddy's... slipped into the boots.

A little boy came to the menagerie
He approached the cage with the tigress,
He put his hand in, said to her: "Hello",
The tigress had a delicious lunch.

The little boy found the "lemon".
He went to school with this toy,
Blast knocked down the door in the office,
Pieces of meat lie on the parquet.

A little boy climbed for a plum,
The watchman Petrovich took out his sawn-off shotgun.
The shot rang out and the watchman fell ...
The father was covering the boy from behind!

Little Boy walked on the roof.
The roof ran out, the boy fell.
I did a beautiful somersault in the air.
It took a long time to scrape it off the asphalt.

Little Boy wandered in the basement,
Foolishly twisted different taps,
Powerful fountain and cool boiling water
They brought out a piece of cooked meat.

A little boy walked on a construction site,
What would he steal so stubbornly.
Gulko hit a brick in the back of the head:
Our watchman Kuzmich throws it aptly.

The little boy was fishing
A crocodile swam past him:
The old crocodile grunted for a long time:
Pioneer badge stuck in the priest

The little boy sat and bit
A large crocodile was swimming by.
Bones cracked in a mighty hand ...
The corpse of a crocodile floats down the river.

The little boy was swimming in the river
An alligator splashed beside him
Strange, but the crocodile swam away whole
The boy probably was well fed.

A little boy was riding the elevator.
Everything is fine, only the cable broke
Mom is rummaging in a pile of bones.
"Where are the sneakers for forty rubles ?!"

A little boy found a neutron bomb
I put it in my briefcase and went to school.
Then the teachers' council laughed for a long time:
The school is intact, but there are no students

The little boy found a razor.
"What is it?" - he asked dad.
Dad replied: - "Harmonica".
The baby's smile is wider and wider.

The little boy was sitting on the roof,
The sunbeam warmed his head,
Boards cracked, bones cracked,
No, he will not go to visit grandma

A little boy found a machine gun -
Nobody else lives in the village.
Old grandmother Matryona is groaning,
But there was not enough cartridge for it.

Little boy chasing a fly
I ran into an old woman next door.
The ears are completely torn off the child
An evil old woman came across to him ...

The little boy sucked candy
A dump truck drove up to him from behind ...
The next morning the newspapers wrote:
The boy died by choking on candy.

A little boy found an anti-aircraft gun, -
TU-104 did not reach Moscow.

A little boy walked on the roof
A little boy fell from the roof
Dogs and cats laughed for a long time ...
How the eyes of the cake move!

Little boy played diver
Daringly diving to the bottom of the toilet
The kind aunt pressed the pedal ...
The boy ran off into the stinking distance!

A little boy climbed for cherries,
Grandfather Athanasius grabbed his sawn-off shotgun,
The shot rang out, a choked cry
“Forty-second!” The old man chuckled.

A little boy found a pineapple
It turned out to be a German land mine
Must be cleaned before eating
The jaw was found six kilometers away.

A little boy climbed into the fridge
I pressed the switch with a small foot,
The snot in the nose froze quickly,
No, he didn't finish his sausage!

Apparently out of a sense of justice, the same couplets about girls appeared a little later.

The girl went to play in the field,
The girl found a grenade in the field.
"Pull the ring" - her uncle told her ...
For a long time the bow flew over the field.

And also about the sadist's grandfather

Who remembers the little boy from the USSR?

All these rhymes were transmitted orally, but spread no worse than the Internet - the whole country knew them. Who composed them remained a mystery.

The pioneer of this genre, they say, was the German psychologist Heinrich Hoffmann., published a children's book in 1845 Struwwelpeterwhich translates as "Slut Peter". There were rhymes about the terrible consequences of bad habits of children (he eats badly, picks his nose, sucks his finger, bites his nails, etc.)

Apparently the rhymes were very effective in raising children, the books sold out very quickly. Soon, folklore was replenished with many rhymes by analogy with the stories of Hoffmann.

At school, we were told that these rhymes, as well as anecdotes, were composed by CIA officers. We involuntarily envied: what kind of funny and witty workers they have)))

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